333 ways of getting in Portugal's bad side
by SumerBreeze
Summary: "333 ways of getting in Portugal's bad side" a guide to Nations about how to make Port angry!
1. Chapter 1

**1. Steping on her tomatoes**

"Yo Port!" Prussia landed on top of the table knocking of some tomatoes that were laying on the table.

Portugal turned around, now facing the Prussian. "What?"

She didin't notice the tomatoes rolling on the floor, when she did the damage was already done. Prussia had jumped off the table and landed on a tomato.

"Prussia~"

Portugal had her trusty axe in her hands. "Shit" That's all the Prussian had time to say.

Screams were heard at least five block away.

**2. Calling her shorty**

"Ve~ Germany's really tall~"

"You're not that short Italy"

Everyone were comparing their heights in the meeting room. Portugal was not pleased with this. (A/N:She's super short in comparation with America and North Europeans. We Portuguese are not tall people~ Womans normally reach one meter and sixty something)

"Port!" It was America who called her. "_Sim?_"

"How tall are you?" America's eyes were glinting in anticipation.

"161 cm"

America burst out laughing. "Y-Y-You're even shorter than C-China!"

The Portuguese Nation blushed furiously, resembling the tomatoes that she and her brother loved so much.

"_Vai p'ra MERDA_!"

**3. Do "No assets" jokes**

"People are always mistaking me for a boy!" exclaimed Portugal. People ALWAYS confused her has a boy. She had even growed her hair (because Spain promised that he would raise the amount of tomatoes that he gived her) and still...

Denmark appeared behind her. "It's because you lack assets!"

The Portuguese woman taked three seconds to realize what the Danish had just said.

Her bangs were hiding her eyes. In a quick motion she lifted her axe.

"_MORRE!_"

**4. Be very Prussia-like**

"Tomboy! Come over here!" Prussia called from the other side of the room.

"Stop calling me tomboy! Or she-male!"

"Eh? I never called you she-male, but thanks for the ideia"

"_Vai-te fuder_!"

"The awesome can't understand you~!"

**5. Steal her tomatoes**

Portugal was about to eat her tomato when Spain showed up. Quickly, Spain took one of her tomatoes.

"_Espanha!_"

* * *

**I was inspired to write this after reading iTorchic "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of the UN".**

"_Sim_"- Yes (portuguese)

"_Vai p'ra merda"_- ... It doesn't have a translation in english but it's "Go to hell", but in the end there's "Shit"... Soo.. Go to shit? (portuguese)

"_Morre_"- Die (portuguese)

"_Vai-t_e _fuder_"- Go fuck yourself (portuguese)

"_Espanha_"- Spain (portuguese)


	2. Chapter 2

**6. Send her fish for Aquariums freezed**

"AHHHHHHHHH"

"Did you heard something Norge?"

"No"

~Meanwhile in Portugal~

"My poor codfishes! The were so young! NORWAAAAAY! (A/N: She's not exactly angry... just sad)

**7. Cut off her lights**

"God..."

Portugal tried to turn on the lights again. No luck until now.

Because of the bad weather several electric posts falled, leaving a lot of people from _Marquês de Pombal_ (A/N: Lisbon's Downtown)  
without lights.

"Where did I put the candles?"

And then it hit her. France had taked all the candles for a romantic dinner with Iggy...

"_França, eu oficialmente odeio-te_"

**8. Increase her debt**

"Portugal..."

"Come on Germany! Don't be an asshole! I'm not even calling you your nickname" (A/N: _Sacana das batatas_)

"Portugal, it's the fifth wall you break today"

"_Odeio-te_"

**9. Be German**

"Mister, would you like to buy a wrist watch?"

Portugal had opened her door to find a salesman on her doorstep. A GERMAN salesman.

"_Não_" was her flat answer

"Mister I'm sure you'll like it!"

"First: I'm a girl, Second: you're GERMAN" (A/M: No flames people. I'm just dramatizing)

The Portuguese woman slammed the door shut, leaving a stunned salesman on the other side.

Portugal opened her window "Oi! Read a fucking jornal asshole!"

* * *

**The weather in the weekend was realy bad. I was lucky and didin't lose the ligths.**

**The codfish shit~ That was real story. The codfishes that were freezed when they arived Portugal~  
**

**Peace out~  
**

_França, eu oficialmente odeio-te _- France, I officialy hate you (portuguese)

_Odeio-te_ - I hate you (portuguese)

_Não_ - No (portuguese)


End file.
